Whod you bang
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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