Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
