Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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