what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
