youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
