having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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