I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
