Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
