I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
