What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's get the cat blown out
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize