Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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