her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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