I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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