last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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