i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
