He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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