I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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