The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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