I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
