my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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