I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
