his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
