I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
