oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
