What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
