I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just gift wrapped bread.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
