Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
