I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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