i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
