feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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