Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
