I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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