using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
