you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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