Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
