He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
