every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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