so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
