Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
