Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
