Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
