:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You may now shotgun with the bride
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
