I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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