Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
