from now on my penis is your penis
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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