she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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