It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
