I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would fuck him just for his dog
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
