I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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