It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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