Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Are we still banned from the library?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
